


You are my happy place ( because the rest of my life sucks)

by Oneroika_Lunae



Series: Space Love Story [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Curiosity killed the cat, Drunk Hux, Drunk confessions, Hux is jealous, Kylo needs to rethink his definition of shitty childhood, Kylo ren is a curious kitty, M/M, Moment of fluff and feels, Protective Kylo Ren, Sarcastic Hux, Sharing of feelings, millicent is there too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6105589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oneroika_Lunae/pseuds/Oneroika_Lunae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kylo Ren thought that get the general shitfaced was a good idea,  he didn't foresee the posible consequences of that action. </p><p>Kylo ren rethinking his whole life.</p><p>Hux taking off his armour and letting Ren know about his past.</p><p>Millicent is there for moral support.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You are my happy place ( because the rest of my life sucks)

Kylo ren dragged himself out of the medical bay as soon as the medical droids said he could move. The scars on his face and his chest were fresh, the tissue still tender and pulling with every gesture he made. The wound from Chewie's crossbow hurt, even now, that was half healed, but it hurt more what the wound reminded him of that the wound itself. Leia's grief was just as strong, a pain in his heart that never left him alone. 

He had a brilliant solution. He was going to get Hux drunk enough that he wouldn't be able to protest when Kylo drank himself into oblivion. 

Hux wasn't surprised when, instead of going to his own rooms to rest, kylo ren had made a beeline for his quarters and was currently standing in his front door, looking like death warmed over. The alcohol, though, THAT was a surprise. There was at least a dozen bottles of differen spirits floating behind Ren. 

" i'm not buggering you, not even with all that alcohol, you need to rest" kylo smiled "i didn't ask you to fuck, Did i? I only want a drink while cuddling with Milli and you" kylo really looked like shit. Hux sighted and walked to the bedroom, confident that Kylo would follow. And he did. 

It wasn't long until they were cuddling together, drinking straight from a bottle that passed between them.

"How do you feel??" hux asked, after everything that happened, Snoke had drove him so hard the general had only been able to visit Kylo three times, the first one when Ren was drugged into a coma, the second while he was allucinating and a third when he had been allowed to eat solids again and Hux had sneaked him a piece of cake. 

" like a wookie had shoot me in my ribs and a couple of kids had beaten me with a light saber" said ren.  
" glad to know your sense of humor still works, asshole, but i was talking about, you know, your dad" Hux tried to hid the note of sarcasm that was always present in his conversation with Ren, but he knew fully well what that did to the buckethead sith lord wannabe and hux would rather not explain why ren was back in the med bay with his wound open. 

Ren sighted, took the bottle from Hux's hand and drank deeply. Hux stole the bottle back and drank the rest of the alcohol. He knew ren was bottleling it up. And he knew ut wasn't healthy. Hux kissed the trash lord on the nose. "You are not the only one with a trashy family Ren, I'm here, for you" he kissed his cheek this time, and then his temple. Hux circled his neck with his arms and hugged ren tight against his chest. " you are not alone. Not anymore. Let it go, Ren, it's hurting you, i know" 

Hux felt first the trembling of the other man before he started to sniff and hugged him back, and then, it started, a cry, a continuos cry of pain and regret and many other things that ren had been keeping buried deep within for too long. Hux held him, kissing his head and caressing his hair and his back while the other cried until he had no more tears. 

Ren pulled away and looked Hux in the eye. "I thought it would be easy. Kill him, and the call would fade, but now, now it has grown stronger, and it's tearing me apart. Hux, Hux, i'm going to die if I keep up like this, so much pain. I can hear her. She doesn't knows, i'm sure she doesn't but she's hurt and grieving and i cannot stand it" hux frowned "who? The scavenger?" he didn't want to admit that he was jealous of Rey. The young woman had caught Ren's eye, and she was pretty, resorceful, and a force user. Hux was only a man. A very clever, twisted one, but not enough to held Ren's eye, not when compared with someone who could use the force. 

"Hmmm? What? Who? Rey? " Ren chuckled " no, no, she's far away, Skywalker's influence won't let me track her" so, he had tried to reach her, after all. Hux averted his eyes and drank from a new bottle. The thought of losing Ren hurt. It had hurt for a while, to the point where hux had made several backup plans in case Snoke decided to eliminate Ren. He grimaced, full with jealousy and dark thoughts, as Kylo continued talking " it's... It's Leia" he said the name reverently, like he was afraid she waz going to appear out of thin air if he spoke it too loudly " it's my mother Hux, she is in so much pain, because of me i cannot bare the thought" 

Hux kept drinking, mostly so the thoughts didn't scape his mind and ruined the mood for deep confesions. Ren, who seemed to adore his mother, has betrayed his entiere family and nearly caused their deaths several times. Hux didn't understood. He opened his mouth ti ask,but then Kylo, of course had to ask something.

" how was your life with your family?" hux shrugged "like any other, i suppose, i joined the Academy of officers quite young, and from then on i only visited a few weeks every year" and by the stars, those few weeks had been more than enough.

"Like me then" Ren chuckled " well, until my uncle came to take me away, it was a parade of nannies and bodyguards and reporters taking holos of our very perfect life, of my mother campaings in politics and my father's career. Sometimes they would be gone for so long i cried myself to sleep thinking they had left me behind, or that they had been attacked and that was why they wouldn't come home" Ren drank hald the bottle and passed it to hux, who drank half the rest " then i grew older and realized that they were just to busy. There was always something first than me in their lives. I thought i wasn't worth it, you know? For many years, i thought i just had to work harder for them to look at me and see me. Not the baby they would dress up for the dinners and the holos and the public, but me. I don't know if you ever felt like that? But guess what? It was never enough. They never saw me, because they never cared enough to look. They looked so relieved when Luke came to take me away. He told me I was differeng. He tolf me i was special, a jedi, or at least, i would be a jedi. And i thought, thatvmaybe, if i was powerful enough, they would notice me, even if it was only standing in a corner of the picture, but, of course i was a total disaster. I wasn't able to meditate properly, or learn the katas, or do anything as good as the others.i was a failure, i knew it every time uncle Luke said that he was proud no matter what,i saw it on the yes of the other padawans, while we were training" Kylo leaned toward Hux , hugging the shorter man to his side. " then snoke called to me, and showed me the ways of the dark side, and suddenly, everything that made me such a terrible jedi, made me an extraordinary sith. My emotions gave me strength, the energy that didn't allow me to repeat the katas was perfect for this new combat style,i was good. Not good. The best. A few classes in secret and i was able to best anyone. And then, then, they saw me. But, you may have thought they would be proud. But they weren't. They looked at me, at all my hard work and said that I was a monster. Fallen and disgraceed. Their eyes. It broke me. Not even when i mastered what they wanter of me, when i could became the protector they craved, they were disgusted by me. So i became the monster they feared. And they had to see me. I made them see." 

Hux, listening to the story, was drinking non stop. Kylo had told it all in that special tone he had only for when he was being overdramatic telling a story or a mission report. Generally Phasma would have corrected the version, but in this case, no one could tell if that had been the truth or not. Hux couldn't picture Kylo ren as a jedi padawan. The human disaster who had control problems and was an hyperactive bundle of rage and drama could never be a calm and collected jedi. Hux hugged Kylo to him and caressed his chest under the regulation grey shirt with the first order's logo he had been forced to wear in the med bay. Hux was careful not to touch any wound while he let his hand roam, only stopping to torture an already hard nipple. " i missed you Brendol" hux pinched the nipple hard and ren let out a moan " don't call me Brendol or i swear i won't touch you in a whole month" hux covered kylo's mouth with his own for a heated kiss, that broke the very moment Kylo strained his wounds and let out a hiss of pain.

"Ignore it Hux, it has been three weeks" hux retreated until he was out of the bed. He built a wall between them with pillows and put Millicent on the bed, chosing to sit by himself on the floor, with his back resting on the structure of the bed. "Hux" kylo whined,but the other man, even drunk, refused. Kylo, who wasn't as badly drunk as the other one, took Millicent and put her in his lap, cuddling the little furball. " you are in pain,wait a few days,Ren, and I will give you the ride of your life" kylo looked at him with a sly smile " with the vader costume?? " " with the Vader costume, and the rope" hux said and drank from one of the bottles that had survived their drinking session. Ren pouted. He wasn't drunk enough, the force users being unable to get drunk unless the amount of alcohol was extremly high, and Hux wasn't drunk enough to allow Ren to either drank enough or to consent to distract him any other way. 

"Tell me about you Hux" 

" There is not much to say, really, i come from an imperialist family, my father was an important general, i have six sisters, older than me, by the time i was born only two were left at home, the other were already married and gone. The other two were eleven years older than me. It wasn't long until they were married away. My family is quite... Traditional. All my sisters were properly educated, politicians to scheme and negociate for the Empire, but Father wanted a boy to continue his militar career. A Hux woman would never go to the Academy.I' m pretty sure he never heard about Phasma, or my sisters would have been sent to the Academy with me. He decided that I was going to be a General from the moment of my conception. My studies started when i was very young. I was allowed to play outside, and run freely. Of course, i had to be strong if i was going to be a militar. Then when i was twelve i passed the entrance exams with flying colours and joined the Academy. I don't speak with them much, only when it is extrictly necessary, and afterall is useful to have contacs." 

"Were your parents and your sisters affectionate?" hux laughed. A dark, sarcastic laugh full of bitterness "Not with me"

Ren hugged Millicent to his chest, the cat was purring, soft and warm. He felt his throat constrict. Hux's chilhood sounded awful, and lonely. "And life at the academy? You are charming, surely you had a lot of friends?" ren hoped he said yes. Something in his chest hurt even more that her mother's grief and the guilt from murdering his father when he thought of a skinny little Hux, ginger hair moving in the wind, little short showing scrathed knees and face full of freckles. A lovely child, a cute adorable baby. Alone, and ignored. He had had the media, and Chewie, and C3PO and R2D2 and the rest. True, he felt alone, but he had had !ove. Hux had nothing.

" the officers of the first order need to be ruthless and merciless. In the Academy only the best made it to the end. The rest is left behind, ripped apart. The only way to succes is to stand in other people corpses, and not always figuratevely. You had to bad good marks, and be strong enough to defend yourself, or soon you would have ended as someone else's bitch."

Kylo saw red "did it happen to you?" if Hux hadn't killed them when he got to power,Ren would. Slowly, and painfully.

" no one explains the rules, you had to learn for yourself, but i'm a quick learner" Kylo hugged Millicent tight enough for her to bite him in protest, he let go of her, and went back to oet her nervously. " calm down, ren, Do you really think I would let them live? They are long gone" 

Kylo used the force to get into Hux's head, he was very drunk. He would have never told Ren if he wasn't and he was already regretting it. Kylo put Millicent on the floor and gave her a little shove with the force towards the door. Ren withdrew from the general's mind and used the force to command him "Hux, come to bed, with me" hux frowned when his body got up on his own and dragged itself to lay by Ren "I'm not going to fuck you, i already told you" Kylo undressed and kissed Hux tenderly on the lips. "Shhhh it will be alright" Ren kept kissing him, as they both lay on the bed, unmoving, Ren used the Force to caress Hux without straining his wounds, and after a moan, Hux corresponded, laying in his sude, facing Ren,both of the kissing and panting in the bed.

Later that night, Hux was sleeping tucked against Kylo's good side, his hair a complete mess and a satisfied smile on his lips, while Kylo watched over him. Something bloomed in his chest everytime he looked at Hux, something warm and gentle that filled with with happines and a protective instinct that would lead him to trash anyone who did as much as breath at Hux the wrong way.


End file.
